


Clothes Make the Man

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4862810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diaper changing was not an instinct; it wasn’t fair to judge those who didn’t get it right the first ten times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clothes Make the Man

“Rafi?”

“Sí, mi amor?”

“I need you.”

He was in the kitchen, making coffee. Martha and the Vandellas were on the radio and even though he tried not to, Rafael danced a bit. There was a much needed pep in his step this morning. He'd be at Centre Street all day, the only thing that would keep him from losing his mind completely would be going back in his head to the hand job he got this morning that nearly made him go blind with blissful delight. Thinking about it now he was sure there was still a stupid grin on his face.

Taking just two steps towards the sound of her voice, a smell hit him that made Rafael want to vomit and pass out on the floor. He was smell sensitive, not always but a lot more than he let on. He groaned, held his head, and walked into what was surely the fifth gate of hell. Olivia and Noah were in the nursery. The toddler apparently had a shit bomb, which had gone off in his diaper and just about any other surface it could find. Rafael gripped the doorframe so he wouldn’t faint.

“No.” it was the only word that he could muster. _Don’t open your mouth anymore_ , he told himself, _if it gets in there you'll die_.

“I'm running late, the answer is going to have to be yes.”

“What do I do, you know other than faint?” he asked. 

For just a moment he looked her up and down. She wore a red silk bra with matching panties. There was lace around the panties as well. All this and she was in the expensive underwear. God could be so cruel when He wanted to be. Rafael could take her right where she stood. Well he could if the entire room and everything within a thousand square feet didn’t smell like microwaved death. Noah couldn’t be more than 20 pounds or so…this was not humanly possible.

“I think he's done.” Olivia said.

“You _think_ he's done.”

“Yes. Run a bath, wash him up twice, and redress him. Don’t forget that Elmo goes on front of the diaper and Cookie Monster goes on the back.”

He was sure that was a common mistake. Pampers should come with directions anyway. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to change diapers but if he was doing it incorrectly then what was the point. Diaper changing was not an instinct; it wasn’t fair to judge those who didn’t get it right the first ten times. Steeling himself, he was a professional dammit, Rafael scooped the naked baby up from the changing table. Now it was perfectly OK to hold him as if might detonate.

“I assume we’re burning everything in here.” He said.

“Mostly. When are you due in court?”

“I need to be there for a ten o’clock hearing. You go, and I will take care of this. There's coffee on the counter.”

He was in the bathroom now. Down on his knees, Rafael ran the bathwater. Noah sat beside him on the rug. His penis sat straight up and the ADA prayed he didn’t start spraying the place. How many times was a man supposed to get peed on by a child before he just gave up altogether?

“Noah, please don’t pee on me OK?” he leaned to kiss his forehead as Noah smiled. “And don’t smile because that usually means you're about to pee on me. I know most of the signs now, so at ease soldier.”

Once the Winnie the Pooh tub was filled with warm water and baby soap, he put him in. This was Rafael’s first time doing it alone. Deep down he knew that Olivia trusted him. There were only a few people who ever got to be alone with Noah, much less bathe him. The baby liked the warm water…splashing and playing was high on his list. 

But Rafael had to keep that to a minimum so he could wash him down. He also had to wash his own arms and hands so he would no longer feel the urge to cut them off. It smelled so bad, a human this sweet and adorable should never smell so bad. The removable shower head did a great job of rinsing before Rafael washed him down one more time for good measure.

“Liv? Liv, where are the towels?”

“Noah’s is on the back of the door. I put your coffee in the nursery.”

“God bless you. C'mon, buddy.”

He grabbed the towel first and then took Noah from the tub. Making sure he was wrapped up snugly, just in case peeing was still on his mind, Rafael got him back into the nursery. Both windows were now open, not too much as it was a chilly, rainy morning. The air smelled much cleaner but enough time hadn’t gone by for all that had happened to be erased. He really hoped she had burned everything that had been on the changing table when he first walked in.

“OK, sip of coffee for Uncle Barpa first, am I right?” Rafael managed a smile as he took down a good amount of coffee. That might have been the best thing he'd ever tasted in his life. “Noah, I don’t want to start you too early but on a morning like this, nothing is better than a good cup of coffee. Can you say coffee?”

“Barpa.” He replied.

“Of course.” Rafael playfully pinched his nose. He made sure his skin was nice and dry before adding powder and lotion. So many times he'd watched Liv do it but this was his first time on his own. Noah was a little wiggly when Rafael put on his diaper, which wasn’t unexpected. 

There was a blue onesie beside him with trains on it so he dressed the baby in it. Then he carried him over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. “This is a big morning, Noah. I'm officially dressing you for the first time so we have to make sure we do this right. Right?”

“Yeah.” Noah nodded.

“Yeah, yeah.” He kissed Noah’s cheek. “We’ll start with the gray cargo pants, a good neutral choice. The little white sports socks will go well with the Cookie Monster sneakers. Now we need a shirt. The shirt is the most important part, until the time comes for you to wear a tie. 

“Once a man wears a tie that’s going to bring the entire outfit together. OK, so this shirt has trains on it…might work well with the onesie. It’s thermal though and the temperature may rise later in the afternoon. We’ll see.” Rafael put the shirt on top of the dresser. “Oh look, this one is Sesame Street and that would match the sneakers well. I’ll let you choose, Noah; trains or Big Bird?”

“Are you guys OK?” Olivia walked back into the nursery. She was dressed for work, carrying her jacket over her arm.

“We’re picking a shirt…it’s a process.”

“OK, well Lucy will be here in about 20 minutes to take Noah to daycare. You might not want to be in boxers when she arrives.”

“Right.” Rafael nodded. “The two of us are going to be fine. I don’t want you to be late.”

“OK.” Olivia kissed him and Noah. “I’ll see you guys later. Love you, love you Noah.”

“Te amo.” He caressed her face. “Be safe.”

She kissed him again before walking out of the room. Rafael focused on Noah. The toddler picked Sesame Street after intense thought on the subject. With today’s outfit in hand, they went back to the changing table. Noah wanted to put on his shirt himself and did pretty well pulling it over his head. The arm holes were a bit lost on him but Uncle Barpa was there to help. 

Pants, shirt, and socks on, they went into the master bedroom. He sat Noah on the bed and gave him a toy to occupy himself with. First Rafael changed his tee shirt. It was wet from the bath and God knows what else. If he could’ve taken a match to it right there, he would’ve. He walked over to the closet and grabbed his a light blue dress shirt. He put it over the chair before grabbing two suits. He only had four at Olivia’s apartment. Staying there at least a few nights a week lately that might have to be something they rethought in the near future.

“OK buddy, should I go for the blue or the gray? I'm not quite sure how I feel about blue on blue today but I'm going to let you make the final decision.”

***


End file.
